Why Healing Hidden Wounds Unlocks Better Leadership: What Trauma, Adult Development, and Change Have in Common Written by Mary Printz

It started for me in a fourth-grade classroom.I was teaching at a school in an underserved area, and our principal decided we should all become "trauma-informed." We spent years learning how trauma shapes children's behavior, how fear can hide behind defiance, how shame can masquerade as withdrawal.

At first, it was all about the kids.

But soon, a bigger question hit me:

What if unresolved trauma was quietly driving adult behavior too, including in leadership, decision-making, and team dynamics?

Fast forward to today: As an executive coach working with high performing individuals, I see it daily.

Unhealed wounds don't stay hidden. They show up in the workplace.

They influence who speaks up, who stays silent, who micromanages, who avoids conflict, who struggles to make decisions.

And if we don't see it?

We end up trying to coach behaviors without ever addressing the root system underneath.

A Story About a Leader... and Her Childhood

Imagine a girl growing up with a father who was unpredictable and angry.

Smart and resourceful, she learned survival skills early:

Stay invisible. Don't make waves. Blend in.

That strategy worked wonders, for a while.

It got her through school. It helped her navigate tricky relationships.

Later, it even helped her climb the corporate ladder. She became known as "calm under pressure."

Until…She was promoted to lead a division.

Suddenly, she wasn’t just surviving anymore. She needed to lead.

Under pressure, her brain did what all brains do:It reached back for the strategy that once kept her safe, stay invisible.

She avoided difficult conversations. Let problems fester. Deferred decisions.

And it started to sink her leadership.

Not because she wasn't brilliant.

Not because she wasn't capable.

Because the "tool" that once saved her became the "tool" that now sabotaged her.

And, like all of us, she hadn't built enough new tools yet.

The Real Reason Behavior Change Feels So Hard

In Adaptive Development coaching, we see this all the time:

People don't cling to unhelpful behaviors because they're lazy or stubborn.

They cling to them because, at some earlier point in their life, those behaviors worked.

But contexts change.

Life demands new capacities.

The very strategies that once kept us safe can quietly become the bars on our own cage.

Adult Development: Why We Can't Skip Stages

For decades, psychologists thought that human development ended around age 20.

Robert Kegan’s research shattered that myth.

Adults continue to develop through predictable stages, if they’re willing to do the internal work.

Each new stage opens up radically better ways of handling complexity, conflict, uncertainty, and leadership challenges.

Here’s a quick roadmap:

Self-Sovereign Mind (Concrete, rule-based thinking, "What's in it for me?")

Socialized Mind (External validation, "Am I doing it right? Do they approve?")

Self-Authoring Mind (Internal compass, "What do I believe is right? What is my vision?")

Self-Transforming Mind (Integration and complexity, "How can multiple truths coexist? How is this shaping me too?")

The catch?

Unresolved trauma often locks people at lower stages.

Fear, shame, and survival instincts make it hard to stretch into more complex, self-authored ways of being.

A Different Example: Shame at the Doorway

I’ll be honest.

I used to walk into networking events and feel like I had a flashing neon sign over my head:"Everyone is staring. They all know I don't belong."

It was shame, plain and simple, and it was narcissistic in the oddest way.

(Not self-loving narcissism, self-absorbed fear.)

Of course, nobody was really staring.

Most were probably worried about how they were coming across.

But trauma, even small "t" trauma, has a way of hijacking our perception.

It traps us in survival mode.

It keeps our focus inward, rather than outward.

It saps the energy we could be using to connect, contribute, and lead.

Why Healing Isn't Just Personal - It's Strategic

If you're leading a company, a team, or even just yourself...

Unhealed wounds aren’t a private matter. They're a leadership matter.

Organizations pay people to direct their cognitive, emotional, and creative energies toward a mission.

If those energies are getting consumed by fear, shame, or outdated coping mechanisms...

The cost is staggering.

In every delayed decision.

In every conversation avoided.

In every innovation lost because it felt too risky to challenge the status quo.

The Path Forward: Development Over Defensiveness

Healing doesn't erase the old tools. It adds new ones.

The leader who once survived by staying quiet can learn to speak up with strength.

The team member who once feared judgment can learn to lead with vision.

The founder stuck in micromanagement can learn to trust, delegate, and innovate.

When we pair trauma healing with adult development work,

we’re not just helping individuals feel better.

We’re helping them step into higher levels of leadership, resilience, and possibility.

And that ripple effect?

It changes teams.

It changes organizations.

It changes lives.

If you’re feeling stuck, not because you’re weak, but because an old survival strategy has outlived its usefulness, you’re not alone.

You’re also not broken.

You’re on the brink of an extraordinary breakthrough.

If you’re ready to move from survival to leadership, from socialized fears to self-authored strength, let’s talk.

I'd love to hear:

Where have you noticed an old strategy that's ready to evolve?

About Mary Printz, M.Ed.

Mary Printz, M.Ed., is an executive Adaptive Development Coach, speaker, educational consultant, and founder of Accelerated Potential Academy and Mary Printz Coaching.

She draws on decades of leadership experience in education and coaching to help high achievers and teams uncover hidden barriers, build emotional resilience, and lead with greater clarity, courage, and impact.

Through a unique blend of trauma-informed insights and adult development frameworks, Mary equips clients to shift beyond outdated survival strategies and grow into the strong, grounded individual they were always meant to be.

Ready to accelerate your growth? Email Mary Printz at mary@maryprintz.com or

call 403-866-3806.